Finally, after hours of catching my wandering brain and submitting it to the readings in front of me I hear an urgent call from the living room, “Jayne! Jayne-ah!" (The Korean way of calling someone's name.)
“What?” I yell back, hoping that the reply I get from my mum won’t break the rhythm of productivity I’ve just managed to create.
“Can you get the remote for me?”
I look to my door and sigh deeply before muttering a few words of frustration under my breath. An unexplainable, boiling anger grows inside of me.
I grumble my way to my mum with the remote and just in case she doesn't hear my grumbling, I make known to her once more the tragedy of a broken productivity she has caused. My grimaced face, my seething tone of voice and my harsh words say it all.
I grumble my way to my mum with the remote and just in case she doesn't hear my grumbling, I make known to her once more the tragedy of a broken productivity she has caused. My grimaced face, my seething tone of voice and my harsh words say it all.
I come back to my room and after a few minutes, I am deeply ashamed of myself. How small and petty a thing to be angry about! How hurtful and harsh my words were!
I am grieved by my innate nature to be selfish… yet again.
***
That is how I feel most times when I spend time reflecting on my actions, thoughts and words throughout the day. They are tainted by a selfishness and greed to get what I want, at the time I want and by the means I want. Most of the time, it’s at the expense of others - by hurting them and bringing them down.
This is the reality of sin.
***
In my early adult years, I often found myself grieving the reality of sin and brokenness in the world.
In my own life, sin was destructive. The more I gratified my bodily desires by chasing sensual pleasures, boys, popularity, acceptance from family and the like, the emptier I was left. The more I chose to run away from God, the more broken and jagged I became, cutting people with hurtful words and actions as they entered my life. I saw this (all too painfully) in others too - through broken relationships, horrid abuse and a corrupt world.
I was crushed by the reality of sin and despised it. In lonely tears I began to ask God, "If you exist - Why are things this way? Why do I have to go through this endless cycle of brokenness in me, my family and in the world? Where are you God?"
***
On Good Friday approximately two thousand years ago, Jesus took His last breath as He lay hanging on a cross. Then, darkness came over the land as if creation (Earth) itself seemed to mourn the death of its creator.
Alongside the grieving disciples of Jesus, were friends and women who had followed Jesus for months or years. They had witnessed with their very own eyes the divine miracles and healings that Jesus performed with great authority and power just weeks before. This was the Jesus that was meant to come and restore their broken world and make everything right again - not die at the hands of Roman soldiers to the joy of the religious leaders and officials. Yet there was that same Jesus now hanging, limp, on a rugged Cross. They wailed loudly in utter grief, their lost hope too dreadful for words.
In tears, they asked God, "God, where are you? Who will save us from this reality of sin and brokenness now?"
Alongside the grieving disciples of Jesus, were friends and women who had followed Jesus for months or years. They had witnessed with their very own eyes the divine miracles and healings that Jesus performed with great authority and power just weeks before. This was the Jesus that was meant to come and restore their broken world and make everything right again - not die at the hands of Roman soldiers to the joy of the religious leaders and officials. Yet there was that same Jesus now hanging, limp, on a rugged Cross. They wailed loudly in utter grief, their lost hope too dreadful for words.
In tears, they asked God, "God, where are you? Who will save us from this reality of sin and brokenness now?"
***
Perhaps you’ve mourned like this too. Over the brokenness of this world or in yourselves. Maybe you’ve experienced the helpless reality of sin and feel utterly lost and hopeless.
But you see, the reality of sin is more than just feeling and seeing the brokenness in the world. It's actually understanding whom we have sinned against - the Holy Creator God. It's understanding the dire and urgent need be made right with this Holy Creator God, for we must answer to Him one day for every evil deed done and every wicked thought we have had.
When I came face to face with this truth, I realised the hopeless reality of sin was a lot more serious than just being crushed and affected by the brokenness of this world.
This was the ultimate reality of my sin: a broken relationship with God and a resultant eternal separation from God in hell. The reality of my sin meant I needed urgent forgiveness from this Holy Creator God Himself.
It was then that I realised the reality of my sin had been met by the reality of a gracious, Saviour God who actually came in Jesus to save me from my brokenness.
***
That Good Friday many years ago, the disciples and friends continued to grieve into the night. With horrifying flashbacks of Jesus' crucified body on the cross, their lost hope translated into continual cries, "God, where are you? Who will save us from this reality of sin and brokenness now?"
But you see, the reality of sin is more than just feeling and seeing the brokenness in the world. It's actually understanding whom we have sinned against - the Holy Creator God. It's understanding the dire and urgent need be made right with this Holy Creator God, for we must answer to Him one day for every evil deed done and every wicked thought we have had.
When I came face to face with this truth, I realised the hopeless reality of sin was a lot more serious than just being crushed and affected by the brokenness of this world.
This was the ultimate reality of my sin: a broken relationship with God and a resultant eternal separation from God in hell. The reality of my sin meant I needed urgent forgiveness from this Holy Creator God Himself.
It was then that I realised the reality of my sin had been met by the reality of a gracious, Saviour God who actually came in Jesus to save me from my brokenness.
***
That Good Friday many years ago, the disciples and friends continued to grieve into the night. With horrifying flashbacks of Jesus' crucified body on the cross, their lost hope translated into continual cries, "God, where are you? Who will save us from this reality of sin and brokenness now?"
But these disciples and women soon learned of an ultimate reality of hope that would change their lives (literally) forever. Their grief would soon turn into joy, and their mourning soon into songs of praise. Three days later, Jesus would resurrect from the dead and appear to the His disciples and friends to change everything - especially the reality of sin.
As Jesus rose from the dead, He would prove to His disciples and the world that He was not just a man, but God! And this God would have the last say on the reality of sin and death by defeating it – in awesome glory and power - for the forgiveness of our sins.
***
The reality of Jesus changed my life.
The reality of Jesus changed my life.
It answered humanity's cry for a solution to the reality of this broken world and it saved me, a sinner, from the reality of hell.
Not only so, but I have now received a new understanding and purpose in life that I have never known before. A joy and peace that nothing on earth could compare. This is true and full life - knowing this Saviour God and enjoying Him from now through to eternity.
Slowly and surely, He is restoring the brokenness of my soul by the power of His Spirit, helping me to mend broken relationships and love others with the love i've first received from Jesus. I still fail, surely, as I shared in the very real introduction of this testimony. And I will continue to struggle against sin as long as I am in this earthly body and broken world. However, I don't struggle against sin like my forgiveness depends on it, but rather because I am already forgiven. My struggle against sin is not to win the battle, but a response to the battle that has already been won by Jesus.
This Jesus - who lived the sinless life we could never live, died the death we were supposed to die, and proved that He is Lord by rising from the dead - offers you also forgiveness and a place in His eternal Kingdom for those who believe and trust in Him.
No matter what you've done, no matter how great your sin, God promises to forgive you if you turn away from your sin and put your trust in the risen Lord Jesus. He loves you and died and rose again so that you would come to know Him, love Him and ultimately be in an eternal relationship with Him as you were created to be!
***
Dear reader, sin and death did not have the last say on that Good Friday many years ago. It doesn’t have the final say for us, today, either.
The reality of Jesus for us today in our 21st century, COVID-19 affected world means that though sin and death is ever-present (one look at a news article or one deep look into our souls would prove this well), there is indeed a reality of eternal hope for you and me.
This is the good news of Jesus that Christians around the world are sharing this Easter and have been sharing since the resurrection of Jesus Christ approximately two thousand years ago. It is this: "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 6:23).
Hallelujah! Will you join me in turning from sin to Jesus, and from mourning to songs of joyful praise of Him, to Him, forever?
